I remember why I fell in love with PiYo in the first place. The workouts seem impossible in the beginning. You have to take breaks, modify. You feel like you aren’t accomplishing much. Not burning very many calories, not making effective use of the workouts.
And then week two hits and you are able to do the regular un-modified version with confidence. And all of a sudden your calorie count on your watch climbs dramatically and you are dripping sweat on to your yoga mat.
For example…PiYo Sweat…my favorite workout in the series. December 19, 2021 – 121 cal January 20, 2022 – 130 cal January 24, 2022 – 158 cal
The more you do PiYo, the better you get at it. The better you get at PiYo, the more effective the workouts become. It’s funny how that works.
I see a lot of people choosing a word to focus on for the year. We all know I have a stellar track record for streaks and making year long goals. (That was heavy sarcasm!)
I’ve chosen a word before. Don’t ask me what it was or what year I attempted this challenge. Challenge? Is that the right word? Activity? Goal? Whatever.
The word GRACE has been heavy in the front of my mind lately. I need to give myself grace. We all need to give ourselves grace. Empathy for our fellow humans and for ourselves. The world is hard right now. Getting up and setting a positive intention for the day despite all the obstacles and frustrations of the world is something most of us are facing.
I want to give myself grace. But I also want to build strength this year. That word popped into my head this morning during my treadmill run. I feel strong after just a week of refocusing on running AND XTing. I want to continue to feel strong.Strength of body. Strength of mind. STRENGTH.
I’m struggling. And I’ve been struggling for a while now. My fitness journey is not something I’m proud of anymore.
Even hitting 1000 miles running last year was a bit anticlimactic, because there was a dark cloud attached to it. (Yeah…I did it. 1000 miles in a year. *insert sarcastic woohoo here* I was going to blog about it, but I didn’t. Because mental health is weird and frustrating. I can’t even share the successes.)
I may catch some flack for this, because I’m going to talk about numbers and the “dreaded” scale. But for me, it’s a thing. I don’t play the muscle is more dense than fat card. I know I’ve lost muscle, because I can SEE it and I can FEEL it.
This is 2014/2015 Neon Runner Girl.
What does that Neon Runner Girl have that today’s doesn’t?
She only worked parttime. She had “more time.” But she also had little people which limited her time. Today’s NRG just has excuses.
She had less stress, depression, and anxiety. Her mother was still alive.
She had better control over her portions and cravings. She ate less processed food. She drank WAY less alcohol.
She’s really tan. Hello vitamin D!
She ran LESS. She did PiYo. She rode her road bike and loved it. She hopped in the pool and did an actual swim workout a few times per month.
She also weighted TWENTY…yes 2-0…pounds less.
I actually said that number out loud recently to a friend who responded with shock. “Are you serious? Where on your body did you put on weight? You look the same.”
I used to tell myself that too. “You look the same.” I’m lying to myself. I don’t look the same. My arms lack tone. My belly is softer. My legs aren’t as lean. At my lowest weight, which was HEALTHY, I wore size 4. XS tops were loose. I was TINY. I was muscular. I was poised for a big PR in the half marathon.
So the questions now are what happened and what can I do to get back there?
Life. Excuses. My mother’s death. Food sensitivities forcing me to change my diet.
What can I do to get back there?
PiYo. Bike. Swim. Control portions. Control cravings. No mindless snacking. No binge eating after dinner. More water. NO ALCOHOL. Move more. Meditate more.
I can do this. I can find that girl again.
It will be harder this time. But I think I’m ready for the challenge. Writing it all down publicly is something I’ve thought about, something I’ve tried to do in the last two years. But I’ve hid behind my perceived fitness. People think I’m fit, so I’m “ok” with my body. But I know I can do more. I can feel better. Because right now, I don’t feel good. I miss that girl.