I just did something very gross and very awesome. I got out all the open containers of my current “cheat foods,” “treats,” and “foods that I can eat because I run X miles a week.” And I ate them. I ate at least two servings of chex mix, a serving of coconut milk cookie dough ice cream, and 6 Oreo Thins. Ok, so I did throw most of the bag of chex mix away, but not without picking all the good stuff out. No rye chips left.

Tomorrow I am starting my new eating plan. I have felt like crud for two weeks now. I’ve been splurging. Justifying eating like a pig because I run hard three days a week. What about those other four days…yeah, I don’t reel in myself on those days either. I’ve also been stress eating. I thought I was over that.

This has resulted in those 5lbs I allow myself to fluctuate to remain on the scale.

So I’m done after today. Here’s the new plan:

1. I’m giving up french fries and chips.

2. An apple every single day.

3. I can have a treat on my run days, but it can be either a serving of coconut ice cream, half a blueberry bagel, or a small bowl of cereal.

4. I will cut my Chinese food splurge down to once a month, instead of once a week.

5. I will share no more than one bottle of wine per week with Mr. Neon.

6. I will track my meals on My Fitness Pal and not fib one tiny bit.

7. I will track my water again.

8. I will try to find an out for my moments when I want to eat something.

9. I will share my struggles with Mr. Neon. We have agreed to be each other’s accountability buddy.

10. Meditate. Enjoy the quiet moments.

We all have slip backs. In the last 8 years of my get fit journey, I have yet to have a major one. I think I’m there. I’m not comfortable in my skin right now. My running is strong, but I don’t feel strong. I can do better.

And I will. Tomorrow it begins.